My shock and embarrassment at finding Mother in tears on Wednesday was a perfect index of how little I understood the pressures on her. Sitting beside her on the couch£¬ I began very slowly to understand.
"I guess we al have to fail sometime£¬" Mother said quietly. I could sense her pain and the tension of holding back the strong emotions that were interrupted by my arrival. Suddenly£¬ something inside me turned. I reached out and put my arms around her.
She broke then. She put her face against my shoulder and sobbed. I help her close and didn't try to talk. I knew I was doing what I should£¬ what I could£¬ and that it was enough. In that moment£¬ feeling Mother's back racked with emotion£¬ I understood for the first time her vulnerability. She was still my mother£¬ but she was something more£º a person like me£¬ capable of fear and hurt and failure. I could feel her pain as she must have felt mine on a thousand occasions when I had sought comfort in her arms.
A week later Mother took a job selling dry goods at half the salary the radio station had offered. "It's a job I can do£¬" she said simply. But the evening practice sessions on the old green typewriter continued. I had a very different feeling now when I passed her door at night and heard her tapping away. I knew there was something more going on in there than a woman learning to type.
When I left for college two years later£¬ Mother had an office job with better pay and more responsibility. I have to believe that in some strange way she learned as much from her moment of defeat as I did£¬ because several years later£¬ when I had finished school and proudly accepted a job as a newspaper reporter£¬ she had already been a journalist with our hometown paper for six months.
The old green typewriter sits in my office now£¬ unrepaired. It is a memento£¬ but what it recalls for me is not quite what if recalled for Mother. When I'm having trouble with a story and think about giving up or when I start to feel sorry for myself and think things should be easier for me£¬ I roll a piece of paper into that cranky old machine and type£¬ word by painful word£¬ just the way mother did. What I remember then is not her failure£¬ but her courage£¬ the courage to go ahead.
It's the best memento anyone ever gave me.
NEW WORDS
anticipation n. expectation
anticipate vt.
issue n. ·¢ÐÐÎ¿¯ÎïµÄ£©Ò»ÆÚ
tuck vt. put or push into a desired convenient position so as to hold tightly£» draw together into a small space Èû£¨½ø£©£»¾í£¨Æð£©
bound vi. move along quickly by jumping or leaping movements ÌøÔ¾
flip v. turn or move quickly or with a jerk
tight a. drawn£¬ fixed or fastened together firmly ½ôµÄ£¬ÀεÄad. firmly£¬ closely
couch n. a long comfortable seat with a back and arms on which more than one person may sit£» sofa ³¤É³·¢ÒÎ
approach v. come near or nearer£¨to£©
cautiously ad. very carefully ϸÐĵأ¬½÷É÷µØ
cautious a.
type vt. write £¨sth.£© with a typewriter
line n. a row of words in a poem£» a row of words on a page of writing or in print £¨Ê«¡¢Îĵģ©Ò»ÐÐ
helpless a. unable to look after oneself or take action to help others£¬ powerless
assume vt. take as true without actual proof£» suppose ¼ÙÉ裬Ö÷¹ÛÈÏΪ
ranch n. a very large farm for raising horses£¬ cattle or sheep ´óÄÁ³¡£¬´óÅ©³¡
nursery n. a place where small children are temporarily cared for ÍжùËù
day nursery n. a place where small children are cared for during the day
