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分析型作文之14分作文

 一、 常见写作错误 ：断句错误、垂悬成分（指非谓语动词短语作状语时，其逻辑主语必须与句子的主语保持一致）
 二、词汇应用：在英语习作中，为了减少动词的使用频率，除了使用非谓语动词外，还有几种有效方法
   
      1、介词：介词在英语中非常活跃，很多汉语需用动词的地方在英语里都可以用上介词或介词词组
      2、抽象名词的使用：很多抽象名词包含动态意义，如：laughter,work,permission,protection 等等，正是这个特点，让抽象名词成为动词的最佳替代品
      3、 形容词的动态含义：利用形容词的动态含义来减少动词使用频率  


 三、 修辞手法(要善于利用修辞手法)
      1、同成分重复
      2、同义重复

练习：（以下为一篇11分范文，请练习按要求改写成漂亮的14分作文）


There is a trend of globalization ,English becomes a vital tool for effective communication.College students now concern more about how to improve their English. Students' secrets are as follows.
要求：
1、纠正第一句兰色粗体句中的断句错误
2、用抽象名词代替improve , 以减少动词的使用频率

     As we know,"Practice makes perfect" . Some students try to study diligently and they really make progress in english . Others turn to entertainment for help,they watch English movies and make an all-out effort to learn english songs. Still others who like making friends, make regular appointments with their foreign friends for a chat . a dinner or a party.
要求：
1、蓝色粗体句中有三个动词，试只用"contribute to" 一个动词词组，以减少动词的使用
2、纠正红色粗体句中的断句错误，并把后半句改为非谓语动词结构，以减少动词使用频率；
3、用形容词"sociable"代替绿色句中的定语从句
            
      As for me , I prefer the third way. Two ingredients could account for my choice. It is primarily becaouse there is no better way to learn idiomatic english than communicating with native english speakers. Moreover, it is owing to my sociable personality , liking making different kinds of friends.
要求：纠正蓝色句中的垂悬问题，使用"sociable"的同义词"friendly"结合两个形容词构成同义重复
 
 
参考答案：
   With the trend of globalization,English becomes a vital tool for effective communication.College students now concern more about the improvement of their English. Students' secrets are as follows.

   As we know,"Practice makes perfect" . Diligent study contributes to some students' progress in english . Others turn to entertainment for help, watching English movies and makeing an all-out effort to learn english songs. Still some sociable students make regular appointments with their foreign friends for a chat . a dinner or a party.

   As for me , I prefer the third way. Two ingredients could account for my choice. It is primarily becaouse there is no better way to learn idiomatic english than communicating with native english speakers. Moreover, it is owing to my sociable and friendly personality , that is, I like making different kinds of friends.