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备考指南:不可不看的托福作文评改(2)

鑫辉娱乐官方app下载 Freekaoyan.com/2008-04-06


II.   Editorial Comments
 
1.       Original: There are numerous reasons why to work for a large company, and I would in here explain a few of the most important ones. Revised: There are many reasons to work for a large company, and I herein explain a few of the most important ones.
 
不定式短语to work for a large company可以直接修饰numerous reasons,这里不必使用why这个引导词;“I would in here explain”中的would一词的使用也让人莫名其妙:明明在文中马上就加以解释,又何必加入这样一个含有不确定意味的助动词呢?
 
2.       Original: It is easy to see that working in the Microsoft has more positions to compete, parallel other small computer companies. Revised: It is easy to see that jobs at big companies such as Microsoft offer more opportunities for promotion than those at other small software companies.
 
这里,作者是要以微软为例把大公司和小型公司进行对比。而用“Microsoft has more positions to compete”却说得是“微软需要竞争更多职位”,就像“I have some homework to do”一样,所以把愿意给歪曲了。 
 
3.   Original: We may acquaint with every department in a short time because the company is small and has fewer branches. Revised: For example, we could quickly become acquainted with every department because the company is small and has fewer branches.
 
不区分 “使……”的动词是长见的用词错误,这里“acquaint”是“是熟识”的意思,要说“熟识”就得用become acquainted了;另外,“in a short time”是说很快,但它的意思是“下来的一段很短的时间”,就像“in two days”一样的。
 
III.  Alternative Expressions
 
A.   The use of a verb such as “to oppose” is common in essays debating between two topics. It is thus important to be familiar with alternative expressions:
(i)   “to be firmly against” – Example: Since Daryl could not swim, he was firmly against the class taking a boat trip and instead supported the idea of a hiking trip.
(ii) “to be dead set against” – Example: The racecar driver was             so competitive that he was dead set against any possibility of         loosing the final race.
 
B.   The phrase “easy to see” refers to something that is obvious and transparent. Example: Although he was shy, it was easy to see that he liked her very much. Alternative expressions include:
(i)   “plain as my face” – Example: The fact that he dislikes his work is as plain as my face.
(ii) “as clear as the writing on the wall” – Example: It was his first date with a girl and he was very nervous and shy. It was as clear as the writing on the wall that he didn’t know what to do.
(iii) “like the back of my hand” – Example: After working as a tour guide in Beijing for over ten years, she knew the Forbidden City and Summer Palace like the back of her hand.
 
C.   The expression “to far outweigh” signifies the greatness of one over another. Example: Although there were some business risks involved, the potential profit far outweighed the risks. Aside from using “weight” to emphasize something being bigger/greater/better than another thing, other similar expressions include:
(i)   “to pale in comparison” – Example: Although the new Nokia cell phone had many new features, it paled in comparison to Motorola’s new cell phone.
(ii) “to overshadow” – Example: The student’s desire to study for the TOEFL overshadowed their desire to take a break during the May holidays.
(iii)  “to take the cake” – Example: Despite both teams having convincing arguments in the debate contest, our team’s final argument took the cake.

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